You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
