the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it's like iHOP with fire
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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