Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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