Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
