Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm at about main and main street
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
