I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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