Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
