We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
