people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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