You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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