How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
