Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
