I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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