whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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