I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
