you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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