i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
