I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
