Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
