We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
