Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
