i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
