The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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