The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize