i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
