I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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