so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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