I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
