Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
