he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
