Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think your dad took our porno
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
