i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
