Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
