Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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