i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
