News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
