That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We need to get me chipped asap
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
