the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize