you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
PANTIES FOUND
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