So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize