Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize