office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
