Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
