You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
