Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
