Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
