so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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