im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
