is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
