is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
