Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize