How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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