It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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