just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
