In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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