I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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