I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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