they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
