sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
