I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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