He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
