32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
