Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize