i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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