from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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