it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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