It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
